In the event that you talk to him/her?
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In the event that you talk to him/her?

In the event that you talk to him/her?

This study suggests that maintaining experience of exes is pretty well-known, but if it implies an issue with your current relationship most likely relies on the reasons why you stay in touch

The brand new experts also asked users so you can price how well all of five various other aim explained their reasons for communicating with the ex boyfriend:

  • Your friendship with your ex try strong and you will fulfilling.
  • Him/her can be regarded as a potential “backup” in case the current dating goes wrong.
  • Your ex remains element of your own huge set of family relations.
  • You feel as if you invested much time and just have been through a lot with your old boyfriend.

Exactly how performed such purposes connect to the grade of participants’ most recent matchmaking? People who was able get in touch with because they have been staying the latest old boyfriend inside mind as the a back up tended to end up being reduced happy with and you can purchased the current spouse. Additionally, if they was indeed communicating with an old boyfriend because that people are still section of its social media, these people were likely to be happy with their newest matchmaking (maybe that have such as for instance get in touch with implies a great societal modifications, otherwise it’s much more self-confident because it happen without having to be purposely searched for). For the most part, emailing an ex as they remained a buddy otherwise as they had invested a lot regarding the dating was not associated to help you how the respondents noticed regarding their latest partner.

The clear answer isn’t an easy sure or no. You should think of your own objectives to possess wanting to look after get in touch with. If you find yourself using an ex given that a back up, experience of the brand new old boyfriend can undermine your current matchmaking. Other studies show one to reminders of one’s ex boyfriend are able to keep your connected with that person and come up with it more complicated so you’re able to manage him or her. 4

But really does dangling on your old boyfriend since the a back up harm their most recent relationships, or really does a detrimental matchmaking leave you more likely to hang onto your ex boyfriend given that a backup? Longitudinal lookup suggests it’s a little bit of each other: Better longing for an ex is in the decrease during the fulfillment together with your current partner over the years, and you may reduces from inside the pleasure through the years are with the increases during the dreaming about an ex. 5 The authors regarding the most recent look and additionally point out that for folks who currently contacted an ex boyfriend having copy objectives in advance of conference your current mate, you could get into you to the brand new relationship quicker the time throughout the first place.

Could there be a description to-be envious in case the partner was amicable having an ex boyfriend?

Realizing that your existing spouse continues to be in contact with an enthusiastic ex indeed can make envy. In the period of Myspace, we often determine if a partner is still in contact with exes. six If for example the partner is actually communicating with an old boyfriend, it will not fundamentally echo improperly in your matchmaking. If that ex is just part of its huge social networking, it’s apt to be they are indeed met within dating with you. Incase these include nevertheless family relations with an ex or have invested enough time in that relationship in past times, it will not fundamentally relate to how they experience your. Truly the only objective for interacting with an ex which was related which have troubles in the modern dating was considering the latest old boyfriend while the a backup lover.

step one Kellas, J., Bean, D., Cunningham, C., & Cheng, K. Y. (2008). Brand new ex boyfriend-files: Trajectories, flipping points and you can adjustment on the growth of article-dissolutional relationship. Diary out of Societal and personal Relationship, twenty five, 23–50.

dos Schneider, chat room for fat C. S., & Kenny, D. A. (2000). Cross-intercourse nearest and dearest have been just after close lovers: Will they be platonic relatives today? Record out of Societal and private Matchmaking, 17, 451–466.

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